Our first poll up in a tie between The Klagenfurt SWAT Team and Florida House Representative Charles Van Zant! However, since we don’t have enough money to give awards out to too many people, we’ve decided to give this week to just one person. True, the award is a downloadable file suitable for printing and framing, but this is our story, and we’re sticking to it (as soon as we get the award design finished). So, that makes this week’s winner: Charles Van Zant! Congratulations! Your award will be here for downloading soon!
Until next week, here’s a reminder about who was up for the award this time and why:
The Candidates for September 1, 2014
Kanye West: The jury may be out on whether Kanye’s idiocy is good or bad, but he definitely didn’t hurt anyone but himself by claiming he is the smartest celebrity during his deposition in a civil suit concerning assault on a photographer.
Bruno Brokken: This Belgian photographer decided to have 400 gallons of water dumped on him from a plane for his Ice Bucket Challenge. The physics of what the weight and speed of that can do to a human body went over his head — and landed him in the hospital.
Charles Van Zant: A House Representative for the state of Florida, Mr. Van Zant spoke this week against Common Core education initiatives, claiming they will “attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can.” He’s also pretty sure we’ll never run out of oil as long as there is a god to make more.
The Klagenfurt SWAT Team: Note to team members — turn on the hallway lights so you can read the apartment numbers and raid the correct drug den.