With an overwhelming majority of votes (one), Cards Against Humanity Customers are the Idiots of the Week for December 1, 2014. These customers bought bullshit for Black Friday. Yes, actual poop from a bovine. The company decided to make their statement against Black Friday by selling real crap, and for one day customers could get a box of actual cattle feces for $6.00. The company mentioned several times it really was crap, and the company’s co-founder Max Temkin reiterated, “If you buy the poop expecting it to be something else that’s not poop, you’re actually buying a valuable life lesson for $6.” The boxes sold out. Astounding. Way to go Black Friday bargain seekers!
Cards Against Humanity Customers will get to sit in the virtual dunce chair on our homepage for a long time, because it’s time now that we begin voting for Idiot of the Year. Congratulations, Poop Patrons!
The Candidates for December 1, 2014
Nathan Channing: While crossing the street in Fruitvale, Coloradio one day, Mr. Channing decided it would be a funny idea to wave a banana in the general direction of a passing officer. Obviously, he was wrong, because he is now facing two counts of felony menacing and could get up to three years in jail. Yes, it’s true: he was brandishing a banana in Fruitvale.
Deputy Joshua Bunch: Deputy Bunch arrested Channing for brandishing that banana. Yes — its true — Channing waved a banana at a Bunch. The deputy claims he’s seen guns in many shapes and sizes and colors, so a yellow banana could easily have been something deadly in disguise. Also, it’s not the object but how someone treats and uses the object that matters when it comes to charging someone with a deadly act. Also, we figure Deputy Bunch is just really tired of banana jokes being said about him his whole life.
City of Peterborough, Ontario: High-fiving the crossing guard is a huge no-no, according to city officials. If kids and crossing guards don’t stop this inappropriate touching, heads will roll! Maybe literally, because the city says the kids might trip and fall in the middle of the street and someone is likely to put an eye out or something. Stop that having fun and stuff. You’re going to school so act like it.