Each Friday, we ask you, our very dear readers, to vote on who will sit on the virtual dunce stool on our homepage for a week! It’s time to make your choices. As usual, we’ve provided links to information below the poll on why these heroes of the neuron-challenged were nominated. Winner posted Monday morning!
The Candidates for September 29, 2014
David Cohen: This executive veep of Comcast is certain everyone who commented to the FCC on the proposed Time-Warner/Comcast merger supports the merger, whether they explicitly say so or not. Next from Comcast: The ESP Network! Bonus points: he claims there is no competition, but Comcast has plenty of competition.
Kai Xu: Canada does not want your Detroit USA turtles, eh! They don’t care where you put them, just stay on your side of the border with them.
FBI Director James Comey: The FBI wants Apple, Google, and other tech companies to keep your passwords on file so they can take a peek in on your stuff every now and then, because, you know, they’re protecting the children and you from terrorists. He’ll likely call for all buildings to have glass walls, too.
Isabella Tanikumi: It’s a bit early to be a Grinch, but Tanikumi succeeds by suing Disney to stop all distribution and marketing of the movie Frozen and get herself a tidy $250 Million. Sorry, kids, but no movie for you — you’ll just have to let it go.