Q: Starting a new job. How do I make a good first impression?

Q: Starting a new job. How do I make a good first impression?

A: I want to make it perfectly clear that I understand that this is not necessarily a medical question. As a person with limited social skills I believe that I might offer more insight on this subject than someone who is comfortable meeting new people.

I used to believe that the best way to impress your co-workers and bosses was to do amazing work as efficiently as possible. Let your work speak for itself. This certainly makes your bosses happy, but strangely enough it actually makes your co-workers look at you in a slightly negative light. Most of the time your peers are not going to be very logical. It seems that you make your co-workers look bad if your work is superior. So, try to ignore any personal urge towards perfection. Mediocrity is the key. It isn’t as important to improve the company or its products as it is to get along with your new social circle.

Rather than working hard you need to foster a “cool,” calm demeanor. Do not be boisterous or excitable. It is okay to appear happy to be there, but “too happy” will earn you strange looks and whispers behind your back. I have found that a valium helps. One little pill with breakfast helps you to hit that little sweet spot between “happy” and “I don’t care.” You will almost immediately blend in with the jaded masses who have worked there for what seems like forever. Don’t rock the boat, baby, and you will be surrounded by people claiming to be your friends in no time.

Now, valium doesn’t work for everyone. There are other medications that would have similar effects, but they also have side effects that aren’t necessarily conducive to the work environment, such as; stupor, persistent cough, internal bleeding, coma, and even death. In the medical profession we tend to ignore these side effects unless a patient bothers us with complaints, but you should measure your options and decide if the risk is worth it.

At this point, my lab isn’t working on a safer mood altering medication, but I am sure that if we decide that it is economically feasible, we will begin research right away. If this happens there will probably be a press release, or something.

Author Description

Dr. Mrs. Brooks

Dr. Mrs. Brooks

Dr. Mrs. Brooks received her M.D. from the Patrician’s Online Institute of Hygiene and Chirurgery and her license from the island principality of Walkoria in 2012. She and her husband work tirelessly together from their personal office in Morning Woods Estates to develop new procedures and make life better and healthier for everyone. Dr. Mrs. Brooks specializes in developing new pharmaceuticals and finding creative uses for existing medications and herbal remedies.

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