Q: How do I get a flat stomach?

Q: How do I get a flat stomach?

A: The closest I’ve come to a flat stomach is to lie very still on my back. Once everything settles my belly is fairly flat…ish. But I suspect you want toned and flat.

I don’t have a lot of personal experience in this area, but I’ve read a bunch of books and watched plenty of people at the gym. If you are already athletic you probably just need to work on toning up your abs. I would think that would involve doing crunches. You could also do a bunch of inverted sit-ups, if you hate yourself or enjoy pain. If you aren’t very fit then you should probably start with cardio to shed some of the flab. You need to really get your heart rate up to be doing any good.

PRO TIP
Remember, when it comes to cardio, “If you ain’t sweating, you ain’t doing it right.” That’s what my uncle always used to say. He was kind of an ass. And from the size of his ass I don’t think he ever actually took his own advice.

Flattening your stomach takes time. The older you are the more time and effort you will have to invest. And if you happen to be an old alcoholic, like my mother, you are probably bed-ridden and should try to be a little more realistic. Drinking a case of beer or more a day is counter-productive to flattening your stomach.

So basically, there is no easy way to get a flat and toned stomach. It takes a lot of hard work and hardly seems worth the effort when it’s so much easier to sit here playing World of Warcraft and eating jelly doughnuts. But if you’re determined to get “ripped” or whatever, send in the pics of your progress. Who knows, maybe it will motivate someone around here.

Author Description

Fitness Bob

Fitness Bob’s resume reads like a guide to the top fitness chains in the United States, totaling nearly 100 hours of personal instruction to Hollywood greats and normal health seekers alike. Knowing his ideas were far ahead of those chains’ ideals, he now works from his own equipment in the family home. His busy schedule doesn’t allow much time for his own workouts, but he will take a few moments to pass on his knowledge to you.

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