A: You have my sympathy. People are just awful. Unfortunately, there are few ways to live your life that don’t require some interaction with other human beings. Having a job that requires you to socialize is even worse because your continued employment may depend upon a stranger’s impression of you. So, what is the answer when forced to attend a board meeting, party, or award ceremony? Alcohol! Lots and lots of fermented sugars. Alcohol makes most things a great deal more tolerable. Obnoxious jerk telling dad jokes all night? Down a few cocktails and suddenly that guy is pretty damn funny! Forced to mingle with a bunch of people uglier than your aunt Bertha’s swollen elbows? A liberal amount of alcohol will not only make your companions more attractive, but it will also help you come across as comfortable and suave. Who knows, you may end up taking someone home and having one of those great regret stories to tell at the next gathering! Good luck and bottoms up!
