A: This question is usually asked in jest based on the old trope of the dryer eating one sock out of every pair. But the phrasing of your question leads me to believe that you are asking in earnest and that you actually are always without one sock.
Amorphophallus titanium or “Corpse Flower”
Have you considered that you might be going insane? Very few people are actually aware when they start to lose their minds. It is quite possible that you slip in and out of lucidity without knowing it. You might be throwing one sock in the garbage or even flushing it down the toilet while in one of your dementia phases. Then when you pull your laundry out of the dryer you are back in your normal state, and you cannot remember you sabotaged yourself.
There are various theories about why your insane side might loathe socks in pairs, but that is irrelevant. We need to be concerned with what to do about it. There are a few medicines that are quite effective in regards to dementia, but they usually have severe side effects such as dulling of the senses, extreme lethargy, or wildly unpredictable sex drive. Here at the Brooks Institute for Laser and Radiological Research and Medical Clinic we have had some very positive results using extract of Amorphophallus titanium, or the Corpse Flower as it is commonly known (see Diagram 1). The test subjects have reported being very clearheaded with greatly reduced occurrences of their “crazy times.” There are a few inconvenient effects that we are still trying to eliminate such as subjects being extremely “gassy” with belches that smell like “death warmed over.” There are also reported incidences of an extreme hunger for cotton. This would be detrimental to your sock situation, but at least you would know what was happening to them.
Get yourself tested and let me know about the results. If you are certifiable we can talk about entering you in our next round of trials. They should be quite exciting as they involve derivatives of King cobra venom!
