Q: Why do I look like a douche when using technology?

Q: Why do I look like a douche when using technology?

A: Let’s face it. Everyone looks like a douche when wearing a Bluetooth earpiece or headset or Google Glass, or when working on several different devices at the same time. If you’re in public you look pretentious. If you are at work and your job doesn’t require these devices, you look anti-social. Since you can’t avoid looking like a douche you need to embrace it! Speak loudly. Say “Ok Google” or “Hey Siri” as often as possible. Make sure to talk about important things like the stock market, how many people you manage, and how much money you are about to make the company with the next big deal. Every few minutes you should switch devices to look up something important that you couldn’t possibly have found by opening a new tab on the device you were previously using. If you are at a café or coffee shop try to place your order from your table using only hand gestures and facial expressions as you are obviously too busy to stop and talk to the employees. Stop worrying about how others might be perceiving you. Control the impression that you make and you will never be in doubt as to how you are being seen.

Author Description

John AlCraft

Mr. Alcraft is one of the world’s top Pantologists. Since childhood he’s devoted his life to knowledge of all kinds and to that end has a Master’s degree in Library Science with an emphasis on Information Systems Development. He also has three Bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology, Sociology, and Interior Design as well as a professional certificate in Mixology. He is sure he knows or can find everything.

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